You Are Not Special...

This is the time of year when graduation ceremonies are held --preschool, middle school, high school, college, graduate school – a never-ending sea of commencement celebrations and inspiring speakers.  I wish Ellen DeGeneres or Bill Cosby would have doled out words of wisdom at my past graduations, but alas, YouTube video of them is my consolation prize.  When my husband shared a speech given by David McCullough, Jr. (son of the Pulitzer Prize-winning historian) to the 2012 Wellesley High School graduating class, it really got me thinking…

“You are not special.  You are not exceptional.” McCullough says.   What?!  We’ve been raised to think that all of our dreams are supposed to come true and that we are all that really matters, at least to those who truly care about us.  We’re supposed to celebrate our uniqueness while all being the same, whether it be in a sea of caps and gowns, business attire and briefcases, or rooting for the same sports team (Go Sox!).  I’m not special?  Really?

“The sweetest joys in life, then, come with the recognition that you are not special.  Because everyone is.”  Hmmm… takes a minute to process – but he’s right.  We should not focus on self-indulgence over how privileged we may be or how we deserve something because of how nice we are to everyone.  Life is hard and does not often work the way we desire.  But there is comfort knowing that since we are not special, we are the same.  And that sameness gives you strength more powerful than being special.  It is the strength we gain by talking to others who have fallen on tough times and survived: the mom grieving her lost child, the couple losing their dream house due to foreclosure, the college graduate without solid job prospects in his/her field, or the single woman longing for her soul mate.  

The fact is so many others, special in their own way to someone, have gone through similar circumstances, including promises for a future that didn’t quite turn out as planned.  This doesn’t mean you should give up trying.  Rather it reminds us to make our moments count.  As McCullough put it best, “Like accolades ought to be, the fulfilled life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct. It’s what happens when you’re thinking about more important things. Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.”  

Live in the moment, be mindful, and embrace the opportunities presented to you every day -- whether it is snuggling on the couch with your child, partner, or pet; going on an adventure to some place new; or taking a chance on a relationship.  Destiny may have other plans.  Have faith knowing that you are not alone nor exceptional.  Life takes you in unexpected directions; enjoy the ride, not the final destination.  And knowing I am in such good company makes me feel very special indeed.