From One Mom to Another -- Easy Ideas to Nurture Ourselves and Those We Love

May is a time for celebrating mothers.  Even when there is a specific day set aside just for us, it probably will consist of serving as a taxi driver, personal chef, maid, cruise director, and more for our families.  We feel guilty for putting our feet up and relaxing, even for a few minutes.  When we do take a moment to sit, our eyes drift to the ever multiplying dust bunnies, mysterious stains on the carpet, or piles of things that somehow get left on any flat surface in our home.  Gone are carefree days of sleeping into until noon and singing into our hairbrush.  Yet although we serve numerous roles and time can be limited, nurturing ourselves, together with those we love, can make all the difference.

To quote a wise Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”  Isn’t it time to pause and look past the list of things left undone for several hours each week?  Instead of frequent personal embraces with cell phones and computers, be in the moment with family, friends, or just by yourself.   Plan adventures – time to explore new places, check out a restaurant, or try a different activity.  Play games with your kids, making up your own silly rules as a family.  Share the best and worst moments of your day at the dinner table.  Sit close in down time, huddling next to each other just like our pets do with us.  Ask to listen to a song your child likes then start a funky dance or sing-along.  Throw your teen a curve ball by writing encouraging messages on mirrors or windows with a dry erase marker throughout your home, and don’t be surprised when they write back.   Or ask them to come with you on a quest to find the best ice cream or chocolate on the North Shore, stopping at several locations in one afternoon.  

Take time to dream, keeping a small notebook by your bedside with a list of places you’d like to visit.  Include date night ideas, family fun, vacation wishes, books or movies – and when you suddenly find yourself with a bit of free time, use something from your list instead of stressing over searching for a plan.  Laugh as often as you can – including at yourself – and you’ll get your family’s attention.  We are far from perfect (our own mothers remind us of that often enough!).  Don’t encumber yourself and your family with unattainable expectations and over-scheduling.  Instead, mingle with the dust bunnies, make your family your back-up band while you sing away into that hairbrush again, and have fun.   Simple moments can fill your soul and last longer than any self-help guide.   Strengthening the bond and connections you have with others, including moments just for you, can be your Mother’s Day gift to yourself this year.  Go ahead – you deserve it!