"Fifty Shades" and You

What is it about the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" that has women so interested?  Some say it is the deep connection and passion between Ana and Christian.  Others believe that it is the escape of having a gorgeous, rich boyfriend who can take you on his boat one day, fly you in his helicopter the next, and gift you an IPAD with a song mix as easily as we used to make cassette mix tapes.  Some suggest that women are finally giving in to "mommy porn" as a means to stimulate their staid relationship and libido.  Whatever the reason women are intrigued, it leaves men wondering just what we are up to and why many are adopting this book series as a liberating embrace with our own sexuality. 

After so many women mentioned the book to me, I finally bought a copy and admit that although it was far from the best written book I've read, the relationship between Ana and Christian did keep my interest.  Many gals have told me "I'm in love with Christian Grey" -- hopefully more so because of his intensity and affection then because of his significantly bad habits of stalking, spanking, and control.  I'm more than half-way through the second book of the series and I find myself yelling in my head to Ana, "Girl, get out of this twisted relationship right now!" while I keep turning the pages to find out just where and how their passion will ignite next.

Let's not forget how many men are reading this book, too, as a way to learn what women like and want, but I fear they may misinterpret the mark.  I think I speak for most of us when I say flogging and over-control are not at the top of our lists -- but passion, connection, and attention are. The therapist in me does not find Ana and Christian's relationship healthy to say the least, but I can understand why women keep reading the series and chatting it up with their friends. We are learning that we can discuss sexuality with other women without fear and judgment, making us more comfortable with ourselves, our relationships, and our "inner goddess" as Ana calls her.

What I'm hoping we gain from "Fifty Shades" is to believe in our inner goddess and truly embrace our sexuality, not treating it as something wrong, inappropriate, or to be initiated by men only.   I love reading the italics when Ana's inner goddess feels empowered, loved, and sexy, which is key to making us feel beautiful on the inside and out.  Confidence is what is truly sexy in both women and men.  Unlike cars and jewels, confidence is free, yet it takes the investment of believing in yourself and your abilities.  Give yourself more credit and stop being so hard on you.  You just might be surprised where your inner goddess or god leads you.

Looking forward to our "Fifty Shades of Grey" women's discussion groups on Sunday, July 15th!  We still have a few spots left in the 5:30pm-7pm group while the 7:30pm-9pm group is full.  If interest continues, we may add a few more of these groups in the future (and a possible men's group, too).  The cost is just $10 and includes the most unique dessert you'll ever have.  Hope your inner goddess will encourage you to attend!