For some reason, it is an all-too-common trend for parents to
limit their child and do most everything for them these days. If the child is thirsty, here comes Mom to
the rescue with a cold and refreshing beverage.
Can’t find their soccer cleats?
An expensive I-phone connects the child with the parent at all
times. If college is the next step, Dad
is there completing the school paperwork and even selecting classes. Heaven forbid that little Sally or Johnny be
inconvenienced or have to work harder than their parents did.
“Helicopter” parents who hover over children have given way
to “Snow Plow” parents who clear all obstacles in their child’s path. They make all arrangements and often find it
is easier (for them) to do a task than to have patience to teach their
child. Sadly, the results are teens that
are incapable of making their own decisions and lack the initiative or know how
to fix problems or even minor concerns that stand in their way. Besides, why bother when Mom or Dad can fix
it for you?
The key is for parents to find a balance. While cell phones come in handy and can keep
kids safe, enabling kids to make their own decisions (without you constantly on
the other end) builds much needed confidence.
Put your kids in non-threatening situations and let them figure the way
out, just like Hansel and Gretel did. For
example, take them to Mount Auburn Cemetery in Watertown, get them a map, and then
have them lead you to popular graves such as that of Isabella Stewart Gardner
or B.F. Skinner. Don’t help them –
empower them to figure it out. See how
long you can go without taking over and doing it for them. Remember, the future lies in their hands. How capable those hands will be is up to you!
Not convinced that your six-year old can make and serve
dinner yet? Check out a great
article from the New Yorker that will get you thinking in a whole new
direction. Stop spoiling and start
empowering!
