Holiday Traditions - Old and New

Often the best part of the holidays are the traditions you establish with family and friends. Cookies you make, car trips in your pajamas and bathrobe to see Christmas lights, watching movies together, and games you play are the true magic of the season. Heck, I used to look forward to taking DOWN our Christmas tree with my family growing up because that night we always ordered whatever Chinese food we desired. It was something to look forward to after a sad and dull task. The date doesn't matter -- it is what we do with others that creates the most special memories that touch the heart.

When loved ones pass on, holidays can change but the traditions still remain. Missing your mother or father's special holiday culinary creations? Why not try to recreate one or two with other family members? Of course it may never quite taste the same, but the time and effort you spend channeling those we love and honoring traditions they taught you, is what really matters. Play music that reminds you of them. Yes, you may cry, but you will most likely smile afterwards thinking of a funny event that happened years ago. Put out a special holiday candle, just for them. Tell your kids and grandkids stories of holidays past. Donate items in their memory - maybe dog and cat toys to a local shelter or snacks to a homeless shelter right before a big game on tv. Place an ornament on your tree in their memory. These are the ways you keep your loved ones with you and new traditions are born.

Traditions are what are handed down and what we make on our own. If your family and friends lack interesting and fun traditions, create new ones. They don't have to be perfect like a Hallmark card. The best ones are far from that. Strive to be yourselves and not stress. The best times are simple and often just happen. Ask for ideas -- even from the younger ones in your circle. Maybe you'll have an M&M buffet or fall asleep in front of the tv watching a marathon of cheesy holiday specials. Or you'll volunteer your time in honor of your loved one and smile up to the heavens - noting this one's for you! Physically gone but never forgotten. Until we all meet again.

May you feel the warmth this holiday season and know you are not alone. The love of family and friends, past and present, never goes away.

The Key to Happiness

And so it begins...Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and more. I know we got an extra hour of sleep when we turned the clocks back - but really? I'm not ready for this! How about ten more hours of sleep and a few days off from the world? We could all use this, right? As I prepare my holiday shopping gift list, I am reminded of gifts that cost the least but mean the most.

Last year, my husband and son got me a key to our home that was bright green with dragon flies on it. You see, every night when I came home, I had two keys that looked the same and I had trouble telling them apart. They solved my griping with a beautiful key that stands out on my keyring. Most importantly, every time I use it, I am reminded not only of my family but of how lucky I am to have a home. It is my moment of bliss before I enter -- and it reminds me to be thankful for what I have in life.

All too often we take what we have for granted. We complain and want other things. The key to happiness is being thankful for what you have and those you have in your life. It is the little things - like a hug before you leave, a reassuring smile, and a laugh when the pressure gets a bit too much. It is a piece of chocolate during a hectic day. Or thinking of a loved one who has passed on and knowing what he/she would say over something funny that happened today. It is listening to your favorite song and getting your groove on. And it is tucking yourself in at night with the hope for a better tomorrow.

Need that perfect present for the person who has everything? Buy them a colorful key that will unlock the door to happiness. The things that cost the least often mean the most. Here's hoping everyone will keep this in mind during the upcoming holiday season.

For more on meaningful giving, you're invited to my free talk at the Flint Public Library in Middleton on Thursday, December 1st from 1pm-2pm, entitled "Celebrating the Joy of Giving". Hope to see you there!

Once Upon a Time...

Fairy tales seem to be the buzz this television season with two new shows aimed at adults airing this week. I have to admit, I really enjoyed watching "Once Upon a Time" at 8pm on ABC Sunday night and I'm really looking forward to "Grimm" on NBC at 9pm Friday night. Both combine fantasy and reality using popular fairy tale characters.

Interesting that fairy tales were invented as a way to teach a lesson and warn children about poor behavior (if you don't stay on the path and go straight to Grandma's, something bad will happen to you) and originally were very graphic and dark. Even many of Disney's stories are relatively unsettling (think of how many parental figures die in their movies - "The Lion King", "Bambi", "Finding Nemo", etc). As an adult, I watch these films and shudder - I was horrified at what happened to poor Nemo's mother! But kids don't seem to notice too much because resilience and self-reliance is the main theme. If only life were that easy. The important thing is that many of these tales give us hope, something to hold onto in our darkest hour.

Empowering kids and ourselves makes a difference. There are many days that I have to be reminded, "You can do this!" because everything can be so overwhelming. I wish I had a magical fairy buzzing in my ear giving me hints on how to succeed, words of encouragement, and maybe make me a fabulous outfit or two. Instead, we rely on family, friends, and even therapists for reassurance.

Our fast-paced world can gobble you up and spit you out in five seconds - if you let it. The key is to view your life as a tale - know when your being pursued by the Big Bad Wolf (for example, your boss) and figure out how to outsmart him/her or move on, just like you learned when you were younger. I make it a habit to read childrens' books as an adult, especially when I need a little inspiration, and I often recommend them to my clients. We all have time for a five-minute story. Viewing your life from a different perspective and knowing when you need to journey to the next new chapter is a smart way to stay sane.

Situations may not always end as we may have wanted - but consider these the end to a chapter in your life and begin the next part of your story. Don't give up hope -- Prince or Princess Charming may be right around the corner (and may even have a familiar face). May your Ever After be happy yet and full of possibilities.

Celebrating Our Spectacular Senses

As we age, we tend to try to seek out what is more important in life and put smaller issues aside. Although chocolate is near the top of my list as to ways to get through the trials and tribulations of life, so are companions that light your way and anything that evokes your senses in a positive way. As I approach my 45th birthday, I hope to let my senses, including intution, lead the way in the next phase of my life.

Who in your life do you enjoy being around? Savor old friendships but be open to new ones. Companions who ease a heavy heart with a kind word, reassuring smile, and hug are essential. The power of touch is undeniable – hold hands as often as you can! (OK - not with your boss - but I think you get the point.) Seek out others who light your path and keep them in your life. And when you get that feeling that you've known someone longer than you actually have - try to spend a bit more time with that person. They are most likely in your life for a reason.

Surround yourself with wonderful smells that evoke memories of good times. Hate your commute? Fill your car with a fantastic scent and listen to your favorite songs to soothe the soul and free the mind. Singing aloud to “Defying Gravity”, “Boogie Woogie Shoes”, and “Bohemian Rhapsody” can change a bad mood into good – I know – I’ve tried it. Use soap or anti-bac hand gels with scents that make you smile. Heck - I even brought my favorite yummy smelling soap to the bathroom at work to relax me when taking a break. Consider a calming scent like lavender vanilla to spray on your bed sheets to ensure sweet dreams throughout the night.

Explore sights that inspire and make you think – stop to look at a sunset or sky filled with stars. If you’ve always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower in person, start to save and plan for it. Even putting a few dollars aside each week can add up over time. Changing the backdrop is a great way to get out of a funk. Take a drive and open your mind to new possibilities – view your life from a different angle. Take a chance and go on a new adventure!

And that brings us to taste – savor the splendors that life has to offer. An apple from a local orchard, fresh baked bread, stinky cheese, a great glass of wine, and don’t even get me started on ice cream and chocolate. Looks like we always end back at where we started – chocolate. I think you’ve figured out how I’ll be celebrating my birthday this year!

September - the month that celebrates our organized Virgo friends, back to school and routine, and the beginning of autumn. We enjoy some wonderful cool and sunny days, trying to sneak in some late summer fun before the New England weather suggests otherwise. Here are some ideas to help ease back to school and work without feeling like you're giving up too much.

How about a canoe or kayak ride on the Ipswich River (Foote Brothers) or taking a hike to find a "treasure" stamp (letterboxing)? Go apple-picking and make a homemade pie. After homework is done, venture over to Richardson's at Jordan's Furniture in Reading, swing on the trapeeze, and try a back-to-school peanut butter and jelly frappe. There is still time to play skee-ball and enjoy a chop suey sandwich at the Salem Willows or visit a zoo to bring out the animal in you (Capron Park-especially great for little ones or Roger Williams). After sneaking a peek at the foliage, enjoy dinner in a jail cell at Margaritas restaurant in Concord, NH. Taking time to explore or try something new helps renew your spirit while getting you back into the swing of things. For more ideas and detail on what I just mentioned, click here to visit my recently updated webpage with over 200 ideas for things to do.

If your kids are having a hard time adjusting to school, spending time with them makes a difference. Eat dinner together. Go for a ride and chat along the way. When talking is not their thing, try one or two of the activities on the list to get you out and active together. Imagine your teen's face when you suggest going indoor skydiving together!

For tweens and teens who could use a boost to their self-confidence, I'm offering group workshops limited to just four participants at a time. In four 90-minute sessions, we'll discover talents and strengths, learn how to make and keep worthy friends, improve current relationships, and explore esteem-building activities. Days and times of the groups will depend on the participants' schedules. Contact me to learn more.

May your transition to fall be easier than you thought. Enjoy the crisp air and autumn colors, and be sure to take some time for you!

Ever After Counseling & Wellness Now Open

Imagine a hideaway with walls painted the color "peace and happiness" and a bright blue ceiling filled with clouds and stars. As you sit on the comfy couch amidst stained glass lighting, your eyes are drawn to the butterflies on the windows that lead to a beautiful green landscape backdrop. A tiny stove in the corner warms your heart with its glowing flame. Hot coffee, tea, cocoa with whipped cream (of course), biscotti, or even a frozen candy bar await as the perfect treat. Here in this sanctuary, you can allay your fears, share your hopes and dreams, and ignite your spirit to explore a world filled with possibilities.

I am thrilled to announce the grand opening of "Ever After Counseling and Wellness" on Route 62 in Middleton, MA. After 15 years of dreaming about creating just the right soothing environment that my clients deserve, it is finally a reality. Come relax and catch your breath at an upcoming Open House (dates TBA) or private appointment.

In additional to personal counseling/coaching, this fall, I'll be offering new small group sessions including "Sleeping Beauty" for tweens and teens to improve self-confidence; "A Better 9 to 5" to inspire those unhappy in their job or unemployed; and other encouraging workshops. And due to popular request, I will continue to offer Coaching Card Readings and Parties as a fun way to gain insight and get motivated, especially with a group of friends.

Thank you for your kind support and encouragement over the years and for helping make my dream come true. It is my hope that Ever After will help spark the "happily" back into the lives of so many that deserve it. Thanks for helping to spread the word!

Angels Among Us - Healing Grief

My heart aches and I feel hollow inside. My mind wanders and I'm exhausted from doing nothing. The world keeps going on around me and it is difficult to just keep up. Grief. Never easy.

My 91 year-old grandmother, who helped to raise me while my parents worked, passed away in late June. She had been ill and lived a long life - but still, how do you say goodbye to someone with whom you've had a profound connection your entire life?

I agreed to have a table at the Danvers Family Festival on June 25th to advertise Ever After. I had to give up my sister-in-law's baby shower in Connecticut that day because I had already committed to be at the festival and I wasn't happy about that. I sat in the rain-soaked field with my dear friend, Jeanne, wondering why we were there with so few people. It seemed like such a waste of time.

On the way home, I decided to stop by my parents' home to visit my grandmother. A short time later, with many of our family around her including my son, my grandmother left this world for the next. After some thought, I was grateful for having been there instead of Connecticut, feeling things do happen for a reason.

The day after her funeral, my family headed to a pre-planned vacation to Tennessee and Dollywood. Crazy timing, but since it couldn't be changed, we decided to forge ahead and go. We stopped at a Jack-in-the-Box (remember those?) for lunch. While I was telling my son a story of how I got suspended in 8th grade for going to the Jack-in-the-Box across the street from the school for French fries, he laughed. An elderly lady in line in front of us was so taken by my son that she kept on talking to him. She even went on to give him a hug and can you believe a dollar bill before she left? While here in the north, we probably would consider her quite odd and try to pull our child away, her heart-warming nature was just what we needed. "She's an angel, Mom, sent by Nani Jay to remind us that she loves us. She even gave me money like Nani Jay used to do all the time before our trips." His great big smile proved it just had to be true.

Angels exist and things do happen for a reason. Kindness and compassion makes a difference. May you find comfort in the little things that make sense to you and know that you are far from alone in this world. Thank you, Nani Jay, for making me into the person I am and teaching me never to settle for the easy way out. You will continue to light our way in the days ahead.

Running to or from?

Several months ago the Tri-Town Council offered a film and program entitled, The Race to Nowhere, about students being pushed to the brink by parents trying to do what’s best for them. We start children in classes shortly after their birth and are convinced that they need to participate in every possible activity to become a well-rounded child and better functioning adult. I’ve met these same kids as adults and I’m not convinced it is working for them – or us.

This has me wondering - do we immerse ourselves in projects and activities to truly enrich ourselves and others, or do these events give us a false sense of security due to their routine and constant scheduling? Ever try to make dinner arrangements with a friend only to find your schedules can never coincide? What about planning a date night with your partner, always putting it off because other events get in the way? And do we really need to carry around calendars for our children in addition to ourselves?

Stop the insanity! I assure you that Johnny and Sally will be fine if you decrease their afterschool activities. They will still get into a good college without softball, hockey, Girl Scouts, swimming, acting, etc.! The more important concerns might be how will they be able to succeed in college and secure a job after we have done so many things along the way to make it easier for them?

We get cell phones for young children without realizing that we are actually hindering their communication skills and ability to make their own choices. They use phones to text each other instead of talking, even when sitting in the same room. If texting is how they communicate, how will they be able to resolve concerns in the workplace or in their relationships?

It doesn't make us bad people to just sit and watch a movie now and then. Parents don't recognize who they are once their kids leave home because so much has been focused on their children at their own expense. Who are you and what are your hopes and dreams? Are you setting time aside for YOU, too? Constant scheduling doesn't do anyone any good.

Let’s all slow down and smell the roses. Go for a leisurely stroll. Watch a sunset. Color outside of the lines or play a board game with your kids. Don’t let technology and society blind you from what is truly most important. Life is a gift to savor, not a race. Make your experiences count and help your kids open their eyes to a world that is far from perfect. Teach them to care for others and how to communicate in person. Although technology is helpful, there is no replacement for talking to a live person (heck, anyone who has had to call a business knows that!). Value what is truly important – people, not material goods, wealth, or constant motion. To quote a wise, young Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it!”

Peace, Love, & Inspiration

Like all of you, if someone asked me to watch a 25 minute You Tube clip, I would probably apologize & say I was too busy. Or pretend to have watched it & just give it a thumbs up on Facebook. Yet sometimes ideas & messages come from the most unusual sources, making us step outside of our comfort zone for a reason.

One of the students I've assisted at North Shore Community College is a man in his mid-thirties who has not led an easy life. Drug addiction, homelessness, & incarceration are just a few of the challenges he has tackled. His toughness is apparent on the exterior. However, after getting to know him over the past year, I am reminded that it is what's on the inside that truly counts. He has taught me much & continues to be a source of inspiration, knowing that it is never too late to fulfill your goals & dreams. True philosophers & messengers don't always have a halo.

With all of his problems, he still dreams of a world where people are kind to one another & where the power of positive thinking leaves us limitless in what we can achieve. Imagine lessening violent crime by collectively sending out positive thoughts & love into the universe. Or changing your future for the better because you choose to look on the positive side with love in your heart instead of letting negative emotions overtake you.

You've all heard the expression, "You get what you give". Isn't it time to give out good vibes & receive good vibes in return? Just think of all we can accomplish together!

Please consider checking out this beautifully produced video entitled, 2012 - A Message of Hope, recommended by my enlightened student & friend. You won't believe how powerful our hearts are until you watch this. Yes, it is definitely worth 25 minutes of your life. Consider it your meditation for the week. The energy you devote to it will make our world a better place because the power of love & positive thoughts is unstoppable.

Are You Having Fun Yet? A "Yummers" Adventure

We're all so busy. Running here, running there. Sometimes the passing weeks feel like one big errand. Time to get some fun into your life & remember why we're here. Trust me - it's not for food shopping, paying bills, & transporting kids.

Last weekend, I allowed myself to be spoiled. My family & I went on an adventure to find the best chocolate on the North Shore. No errands, just a cocoa quest with a $5 limit at each location. We started at adorable & delicious Pride's Crossing Confections in Beverly (we highly recommend the turtles & salted dark chocolate caramels) then drove to luscious Turtle Alley in Gloucester. Their motto was especially appealing..."Life is short. Sin a little." And sin we did. We started with the King (appropriate for our quest, we thought) - a peanut butter cup filled with bacon, smoked salt, & chopped peanuts. Wow! And even though it wasn't chocolate, we had to try the fleur de sel ancho chile caramel (gooey caramel with a little spice & heat at the end). So good we had to go overbudget here & buy several more to bring home. What are you waiting for? Grab your coat & go!

Next we decided to walk off some of the calories & explore Bear Skin Neck in Rockport. We were excited to find banana Turkish Taffy at the Country Store. Remember these? You slam the taffy on the counter (with the wrapper on!) & it breaks into smaller pieces. What a great way to relieve stress & connect with the child in you! I knew I was on this quest for a reason.

After the candy, we needed some real food, of course. That's when Top Dog caught our eye. My husband had the Shaggy Dog (a hot dog with BBQ & coleslaw), my son the Golden Retriever (one topped with mac & cheese!), and I had the Bad Dog (one with bacon, cheese, & grilled onions). I really liked being "bad." Delish & definitely worth a road trip!

After more shop perusing, Tuck's Candies was next with us sampling their light & airy Swiss chocolates. Mmmmm! Then on the way home, we made one last stop at Nichols Candies in Gloucester, with their chocolate covered honeycomb chips & Needhams being just what we needed to help us tackle the challenges of the week ahead. The Needhams are thin caramel discs topped with chocolate & jimmies. Yummers!

Just like the great kids' book with the same name, our day was truly Yummers! My son thought I lost my mind suggesting this unique crusade, but he loved it. My husband is used to my crazy ideas & helped come up with the stops. Isn't it time for your own Yummers adventure? Just a small bite of a few chocolates at each location - it 's fun to share & compare. I don't think we truly discovered one favorite - we might just have to go again to be sure, adding in some new locations along the way! Or maybe we'll try ice cream next. So much to choose from & so little time. Now these are errands I can get used to! Enjoy!

The People We Meet

Recently, my son asked if I thought everything happened for a reason. Soda spilling, staining my shirt, and the printer running out of ink - not so much. But people meeting and interacting with each other - yes, I think we're on to something.

People come into our lives for a reason. And each of us has a purpose. A neat example of this can be found in the movie, "Lady in the Water" by M. Night Shyamalan. OK - so he's had a bad rap lately for making some less than memorable films - and some may think this one is not his best. However, it really touches on people coming together and serving a purpose. People who otherwise really have no reason to come together. Shyamalan used to tell this story to his kids at bedtime. It involves several people who live in the same apartment complex. Although the concept is a bit out there - it can really help those of us wrestling with less than perfect colleagues, relatives or aquaintances in our lives. Sometimes there is really more than meets the eye or what can be immediately felt or described.

Maybe your grouchy and gym-fascinated boss might be the "guardian". Or the child who never does her homework and only seems to dream about fairies and butterflies could be the "healer." And your crossword puzzle-obsessed, critical mother could be the "interpreter". The point is maybe we need to try harder to see past the traits we find offending or off-putting in order to see the bigger picture or purpose.

Thank goodness for those who aren't afraid to tackle danger (even if we consider their decisions sometimes rash) - else what would happen when there was a fire or crime? We'd have no books and movies if it weren't for those with incredible imaginations (who probably take hours just to pick out their clothes each morning!). And where would we be without our friends who naturally seem to "get" us and all of our own crazy hang-ups - those we hand-select to be part of our family.

So the next time people are driving you crazy and you can't seem to find a balance, you might check out "Lady in the Water" and daydream for a bit. People do come together for a greater good, even in simple everyday circumstances. It may not always be noticed - but it happens. Here's to paying attention to the little good deeds in our day that matter and have the ability to change the world...one person at a time.

Let the Adventures Begin!

Tired of being stuck inside all winter? Spring is finally here! Time to get outdoors, stretch, and begin exploring. So much to do and so little time! I recall reading an entry in one of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books about a teenage boy who made a Life's To Do list. He wanted to ride a camel, visit a rainforest, climb a mountain, learn to ski, visit many different countries, learn new languages, and so much more. And can you believe he actually accomplished most of them? His list had over 200 tasks, most of which would seem crazy to many of us. But he did them - and so can you.

Start today and make a list of just three places you'd like to visit or goals to set for yourself. Suggest one very reasonable, one in the middle, and one a bit far-fetched. Keep it on a post-it note in your planner or next to your bed. And try to make at least one happen by the end of the summer. Why not set-up a picnic in your living room this weekend and list places to visit with your partner or family and friends this summer? Spread a blanket, maybe buy a bucket of KFC or other fun picnic fare, & have popsicles for dessert!

To help you, I'm very excited to include the link to my most extensive Fun Local Adventures ideas yet! From walking in a forest with deer, to golfing in the dark, to adorable country stores, to an enormous trampoline, to drinking beer from a glass a yard long, there is something in here for everyone. It also includes ideas on how to connect with your teens or re-connect with your partner in addition to numerous kids' activities, too. Use it as a starting point to plan some fun days out. When kids get involved in the planning, it really helps them enjoy it more, too. Couples benefit in numerous ways when planning together - get ready for some romance as you dream about an exotic trip to the South Pacific and other destinations!

The list I've mentioned includes all of the links to the places listed, which saves you time. Click on the link and see if it is for you. I've tried to suggest less popular places and combined several sites in the same area, giving you ideas for Sunday drives, time out with those independent toddlers or teens, or a romantic evening at home. Please share the list with your friends! I will continue to update it and add some farther away destinations such as Niagara Falls and Baltimore, MD in May. So check back! We've been fortunate to visit all of the places on the list. I welcome your feedback, questions, and ideas.

The world is your oyster, my friends. Crack it open, grab the pearl, and never let go! Your future is full of possibilities. Open your mind, dive in, and give them a try!

Making It Count!

During the presentation on laughter at the Reading Library, I ended by reciting from "Paradox of our Times," attributed to George Carlin but actually written by Dr. Bob Moorehead. One of the lines really resonates: "We've learned how to make a living but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years." What do you think? Do you make a living or a life? Is there truly life in your years or are you just passing time, completing your next task?

Life is stressful and certainly not easy. I'm sure we all would try to really "live" if we only had the time. But with all of today's conveniences, one has to wonder how far we've come from our ancestors. I can't imagine growing up without indoor plumbing or electricity or even a cell phone, for that matter. How about going for groceries by horse and buggy? While life is still far from perfect in 2011, we certainly have it better than our ancestors did.

But how far have you really come? We may only get one chance on this earth - are you "making it count" as Jack Dawson (Leo DiCaprio) toasted in Titanic, the movie? His character had spirit and insight that energized you, and many of us immediately fell in love with him or rather what he represented - love of life.

You find your center once you understand what is truly important in life. You learn to let go more easily and give more deeply. You don't need long-term therapy or medicine to make this happen. This is why I created Ever After. Although people visit with me to examine a particular concern, we also focus on discovering who they are - on making it count and making a life. Take some time to examine what is important to you, your family or friends. You may be surprised at the outcome. When you remember you only go around once, your priorities change.

I am especially excited about adding several "Themed Visits" to Ever After's repertoire, including Fairy Godmother (for parents wanting to consult about their kids); Sleeping Beauty (for the shy or reserved hoping to awaken their passion & path); Put Me in, Coach! (for those feeling pressured to always score in life, wanting to learn skills to ease fear, doubt, or anxiety); and Little Red in the Hood (for the rebels hoping to reconnect with parents or even themselves). These sessions focus on a particular concern with personalized suggestions on how to improve it as well as help you discover your center and purpose. No meds, no diagnosis, no long-term therapy, no stigma attached for asking for help - just empowerment, compassion, sanctuary, and inspiration. Very unconventional in 2011! Now that is living!

Laugh for Health's Sake!

Laughter truly is life's best medicine. From releasing endorphins (natural painkillers) to improving blood flow to relaxing muscles and even easing anxiety and fear, there is nothing like a good laugh to make you feel better. Kids somehow already know this and master laughter pretty well. They laugh at things most adults roll their eyes at or try to stifle so they can remain an "adult". But I've got to ask - is that really working for us wiser and older individuals?

There is something to be said about finding the humor in bad situations. It doesn't take away the pain of the event but it certainly helps us cope and face the days ahead. When facing a tough week, consider flipping in a mindless, silly movie into your DVD player before you go to bed. Something with Mel Brooks, Monty Python, Eddie Murphy, or Will Ferrell - you get the picture. And allow yourself to actually laugh out loud, not just on the inside. Then see how you feel in the morning.

That's the thing - when we write LOL or LMAO after our Facebook posts or texts, how many of us are really laughing aloud? You're probably like me in that we smile then go on to the next structured part of our day. Now, I'm not saying to act like a lunatic at work laughing hysterically in your cubicle so everyone in the office will be thinking you need medical attention. But I am asking to truly consider laughing aloud several times within your day because it is truly GOOD for you!

We're going to have some fun on this Tuesday night at the Reading Public Library with my talk all about laughter, including funny video clips. I truly hope you'll join us. There is nothing like a laugh from down deep inside to lighten life's load. Here's a sample of something totally ridiculous to get you on the track to feeling better and reducing the stress we all feel in life. Hope you can take just under 2 minutes out of your day and hopefully laugh aloud with this PG-13 clip!

Living Happily Ever After

When interning at Hospice over 10 years ago, I thought Ever After would be a great name for my practice one day. I love the way fairy tales end - "and they lived happily ever after". It's just that we can't live "happily" all the time. If we didn't know sadness, we wouldn't understand happiness, right? So Ever After - sometimes happy, sometimes not so much - made sense.

I'm often asked how to help others feel better about unfortunate situations. Gratitude truly helps fill the soul. Feeling thankful for great people in our lives, for those who make us laugh and smile. Feeling fortunate about the positives in your life - what you're good at, what works, what has gone well. Being thankful for having had the chance to know and love people in our lives who have passed on - they have become part of us and helped shape us into who we are.

Too often we don't embrace our strengths enough. We put ourselves down and allow others to make us feel bad about our differences. Or we live for others, putting ourselves last and caring for their needs before any of our own. We fall into these roles, like old slippers - they feel comfortable, so we let them be.

As spring and a time of renewal enters your life, think about your positive attributes and what you are thankful for in your life. Then ask yourself what else might make you happy, what might fill your soul and put a spring in your step. Helping others always feels good. Yet, helping ourselves is equally important. Find that wish list and make a plan, even just one. As we mentioned last March, think about your life as a chapter book. Isn't it time to live happily ever after in this particular chapter?

Laughter is equally as important as gratitude to keep you smiling. On Tuesday, March 22nd at 7pm, join me at the Reading Public Library as I complete the Winter Wellness Series, "Live, Love, Laugh" with a FREE program dedicated to laughter, truly life's best medicine. Laugh with us as I share stories and video clips that reduce stress, tickle our funny bone, and touch the heart. Living happily ever after is in your future - embrace it, believe, and make it happen!

Love Where You Least Expect It!

Love is when your pet snuggles up against you on a cold winter's night. Love is baking cookies inside while your mate shovels outside. Love is when your teenager laughs aloud with you instead of pretending that you don't exist. Love is talking to your mother and her actually agreeing with you instead of her telling you the way she would have done it. Love is picking up where you left off with a good friend even though you haven't seen each other in months. Love is buying loads of snacks and dropping them off at a homeless shelter on Superbowl Sunday in memory of your Dad, who was an avid football fan. Love is feeling good about you, having hopes for your future, and letting go of dark shadows from your past.

Seeing love in so many forms makes Valentine's Day less threatening for some. Anyone can be our Valentine, not just a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. February is cold in New England. Why not share the warmth with someone? Heck, we even leave our mailman a Valentine!

Still not in the mood yet? There are a few tickets left for our humorous talk on "Love" combined with a wine-tasting at Alfalfa Farm in Topsfield on Friday, February 18th. My husband, Larry, and I will share some situations couples can relate with all too well! Living together, in-laws, kids, holidays, sex - come laugh with us and warm up with a nice Pinot Grigio! When all else fails, there's nothing like a nice glass of wine and good company to set the world right again.

Wishing you a February full of love, warmth, and laughter - or at the very least, a great glass of vino!

Ode to January and Mother Nature

January. Not everyone's favorite month. It begins after the holidays when everyone has to clean up and find room to store the presents received (including enough toys to open our own store). Then there are those new year's resolutions which always include losing weight and doing more exercise. Shoveling must count, right? Oh yes, the lovely weather in January has our attention, too. Tons of white snow against the dark sky that comes all too early in the afternoon. And we wonder why we feel out of sorts this time of year?

I could say we should all let our hair down and take up a winter sport like skiing or snowboarding. But my lack of heeding past new year's resolutions having to do with losing weight and moving more caution me that my body probably won't be able to handle this new hobby too easily. Never mind my back or knees.

All right, then how about a less physical new hobby? How about hooking Netflix up to my tv so I don't have to mail them back and wait so long in between movies? Or does shopping for deals at the mall count? The cold and dark just make me want to stay under my covers. Animals hibernate this time of year - shouldn't we take their lead? My body needs rest. Hey, have you seen the snow out there? Travel isn't easy - another reason to stay close to home.

Oh, January. I'm really trying. Forgive me for not sticking to those resolutions - but my mind is numb from the cold. My body is sore from shoveling. And I'm too busy reading directions on those toys from Santa to spark a creative thought. Have patience with me, January. Things will be different next month with Valentine's Day and only 28 days to get through until we feel closer to spring. Who am I kidding? My ode to February will be coming next! Winter in New England. You've got to love it - why else would we put ourselves through it?!

We have seasons for a reason. Listen to Mother Nature and allow yourself time to enjoy the winter slumber. Forgive yourself. You can start fresh at any moment - it doesn't have to be January 1st! Spring is coming. What better time to change than when birds are singing and the sun reappears? Hey - we'll all feel just like freakin' Snow White! Energy is on the horizon so be gentle with you and chill out with people who make you smile. It was why January was invented. Mother Nature constantly reminds us with her fresh white blanket, tucking us in like newborns. And you don't mess with Mother Nature!

The Magic of Chocolate!

Welcome 2011! All that rushing for the holidays - then they're over in a flash! Now it is time to celebrate you! Isn't it time to "live" it up? You do so much for others - how about doing something special for you?

One thing that truly makes me happy (besides my wonderful family and friends, of course!) is chocolate. Milk or dark, with caramel or nuts, hot or in big chunks. Chocolate can change my mood. It allows me to escape, even for just a while, and think of a simpler time when people used to drink it for its magical powers. And with the crazy lives we all lead, what's wrong with a touch of magic in your day?

We recently enjoyed a great trip to Taza Chocolate Factory in Somerville. For just $5, we got to sample all sorts of funky flavors of chocolate (salt and pepper, chili, cinnamon, vanilla bean, and more), tour the place, and learn how they make this great stuff straight from the cocoa bean! They use traditional Mexican stone methods, using all organic ingredients. And it tastes great! Who knew all this could happen in Somerville? I highly recommend this adventure (maybe combined with dinner at Redbones BBQ, like we did!).

If you're willing to splurge, there's still time to join us for a trip to Boston to the "Chocolate Bar" on Saturday, January 15th. The cost is $65 per person for all-you-can-eat incredible desserts, tea or coffee, tax and tips, and roundtrip bus from Middleton or Saugus. Once you do this, you will not be the same! It will make 2011 seem a whole lot brighter already! Hope to hear from you before January 7th!

I know the new year is when you're supposed to be dieting and eating better. And you still can take care of you! But there's nothing wrong with living it up with a new experience and splurging every now and then! Besides, you gotta love those antioxidants in chocolate!

Whether it is at Taza, the Chocolate Bar, or just with a few Hershey kisses, wishing you the sweetest and most satisfying new year ever!