Ever After is my counseling practice in Middleton, MA. My blog will offer inspiration, tips, travel ideas, and connections. For more information, check out my website below!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Running to or from?
Several months ago the Tri-Town Council offered a film and program entitled, The Race to Nowhere, about students being pushed to the brink by parents trying to do what’s best for them. We start children in classes shortly after their birth and are convinced that they need to participate in every possible activity to become a well-rounded child and better functioning adult. I’ve met these same kids as adults and I’m not convinced it is working for them – or us.
This has me wondering - do we immerse ourselves in projects and activities to truly enrich ourselves and others, or do these events give us a false sense of security due to their routine and constant scheduling? Ever try to make dinner arrangements with a friend only to find your schedules can never coincide? What about planning a date night with your partner, always putting it off because other events get in the way? And do we really need to carry around calendars for our children in addition to ourselves?
Stop the insanity! I assure you that Johnny and Sally will be fine if you decrease their afterschool activities. They will still get into a good college without softball, hockey, Girl Scouts, swimming, acting, etc.! The more important concerns might be how will they be able to succeed in college and secure a job after we have done so many things along the way to make it easier for them?
We get cell phones for young children without realizing that we are actually hindering their communication skills and ability to make their own choices. They use phones to text each other instead of talking, even when sitting in the same room. If texting is how they communicate, how will they be able to resolve concerns in the workplace or in their relationships?
It doesn't make us bad people to just sit and watch a movie now and then. Parents don't recognize who they are once their kids leave home because so much has been focused on their children at their own expense. Who are you and what are your hopes and dreams? Are you setting time aside for YOU, too? Constant scheduling doesn't do anyone any good.
Let’s all slow down and smell the roses. Go for a leisurely stroll. Watch a sunset. Color outside of the lines or play a board game with your kids. Don’t let technology and society blind you from what is truly most important. Life is a gift to savor, not a race. Make your experiences count and help your kids open their eyes to a world that is far from perfect. Teach them to care for others and how to communicate in person. Although technology is helpful, there is no replacement for talking to a live person (heck, anyone who has had to call a business knows that!). Value what is truly important – people, not material goods, wealth, or constant motion. To quote a wise, young Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it!”
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