We All Benefit from a little Practical Magic!

October is my favorite month. I love the crisp autumn air, the smell of cider donuts and apples, and the mystical way Halloween makes me feel. This is the time of year I pop "Practical Magic" into the DVD player and kick back with a few of those mini candy bars that I should be giving out to trick or treaters instead.

"Practical Magic" contains my favorite song, "This Kiss" by Faith Hill. Romance isn't the easiest for the Owens sisters. And may not be the easiest for some of us - but never stop hoping. There's something magical about making a True Love Spell and wishing for the person of your dreams to come your way, or to at least add some spark and spice to your current romance.

Women feel empowered by this movie. I love the scene when all the ladies get together to help free-spirited Gillian (Nicole Kidman) get rid of her abusive zombie boyfriend. We can always use a group of pals to help us "clean house" and sweep away life's pain. Sometimes they may be just aquaintances who will later blossom into good friends. Gal power reigns supreme in this flick, even when it depicts how catty us women can sometimes be to one another. Who wants to befriend a witch with a past? I've learned to take those sort of chances - it makes life much more interesting!

And let us not forget the value of midnight margaritas! We all should be dancing around our house in the middle of the night, margarita in hand, just like the Owens family. Although my husband might think I've lost my mind, this might be just the thing to jump start our energy and get us thinking creatively. Live alone? Have a sleepover with this goal in mind. These are the moments we laugh about and remember - where we share, bond, and forge friendships that weather nor' easters and more!

One of my favorite friendship memories is heading to Foxwoods late at night with my cousin and two dear friends many years ago. We played the slots for a bit then headed home into so much fog that we couldn't see to drive. We had to pull off the road and wait in the car in the parking lot of what appeared to be an old mental hospital. Yes - a little too much like the movie "Halloween"! We chatted in the car for a few hours, laughing and sharing until the fog lifted. Although it was a bit scary, I really didn't want the night to end. Times like these make you feel alive - taking chances and doing something a bit crazy - not to mention the terrific company!

Here's hoping your fall will be full of unexpected surprises, midnight margaritas and other crazy times with good friends, and just a touch of magic!

Leaping into Faith!

My Fall Wellness Series, "Faith, Hope, and Charity" kicked off last Wednesday evening with a presentation about Faith at the Peabody Institute Library in Danvers. With a crowd of just under 20 people, we tossed around the different meanings of faith - from one's religion to a belief in a supernatural power that controls human destiny to believing in ourself and others. Fitting for spiritful October, we thought about what happens when we die as suggested by various psychics including James van Praagh and John Holland. We laughed at how what psychics say and fortunes in fortune cookies often have more meaning than what our family or friends say to us. It must be that supernatural force behind them, right?!

Next, I shared a photo I took from a concentration camp in Poland depicting two sets of railroad tracks (one that led to being a prisoner and one that led to the gas chamber). I keep it on my desk as a reminder that although we should consider the road less travelled as Robert Frost suggests, sometimes we don't have a choice (deemed choiceless choices by Sonia Weitz, Holocaust survivor who lived in Peabody, MA). Choiceless choices and other difficult times often lead us to embrace religion and believe in the Divine or God. The value of community from your local church or some other type of group can never been overstated. Friends that will help you through life's toughest moments as well as its sweeter ones are extremely important.

While some of us believe that much in life is meant to be, we agreed that not everything is. People make mistakes -- it is what we do with what we are dealt that really matters. Although some good can come from bad (such as young Adam Walsh's death leading to his father helping catch numerous criminals on "America's Most Wanted" and the Adam Walsh Act about sex offenders put into law in 2006), it doesn't make us feel much better about the initial loss. Sometimes we may never know why things happen. Sometimes our woes can affect someone else's life and destine that person to a new calling.

A favorite quote shared by Teilhard de Chardin was "You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience." Being human is far from perfect. Thinking of ourselves as tiny spiritual beings floating on a cloud sprinkling happy thoughts to one another is much better than feeling human and powerless at times. When we think this way, chores like grocery shopping, cleaning up, making dinner, tasks at work, getting homework done - which often consume our daily life - become less of our focus. The meaning of life is what we decide to make of it and how we choose to live it. Laughter, cuddling your pet, looking into your lover's eyes - these small moments should make up your bigger picture.

Lastly, we reminded one another to let go of beliefs that don't help you and embrace new ones, including being part of a community where you feel empowered. Faith may make all things possible but LOVE makes it easier. Seek out those who help rekindle your flame and inspire others in return. Volunteer! Laugh at mistakes and missteps along your journey instead of getting caught up in them. Laugh a lot. Think about what faith means to you, and if you don't know, take some time to figure it out. You will probably feel happier as a result. And who can't use a little happiness?!

The evening ended with everyone picking a random fortune about their future from a special basket. (And I think those made more of an impression than our entire discussion! Guess I can't compete with the supernatural! Glad you all liked them!) Special thanks to Donna Maturi and the library staff for hosting me!

Hope you will join me for "Hope," the next segment in the series, on Monday, November 15th at 6:30pm at the Flint Public Library (Route 114) in Middleton. We'll talk about wishes, how to get through life's difficult moments, laugh as much as we can, and end by creating our own "wish list" to take home (generously provided by Jenna Amara from Mums Art Studio in Tewksbury). You don't want to miss this one!!

Advice from Romantic Movies and Fortune Cookies

I'm a sap for a good romantic movie. Maybe that's why I enjoyed "Letters to Juliet" recently. Women who had their hearts broken are encouraged to visit the courtyard of Juliet's house (yes "the" Juliet of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet") in Verona, Italy and leave a letter, asking for her advice on what to do. Every day Juliet's secretaries (lovely ladies from various backgrounds and all different relationships) write back to the heartbroken with words of encouragement.

Don't you wish you had secretaries just dedicated to you - people you could ask for advice from and they'd know exactly what to do? Of course, we are fortunate to have wonderful friends. But there is something spiritual and fascinating about leaving a note in a courtyard and receiving a response from an experienced wise soul who doesn't know you. It makes the reply all the more mystical and powerful.

It is almost like cracking open a fortune cookie after a delicious Chinese meal and getting a terrific fortune. We believe these just HAVE to come true. I carry good fortunes in my purse, post them in my cubicle, etc.! And I know many of you have done that, too!

If you'd like to receive an encouraging message for the days ahead, please consider joining me for a discussion on "Faith" at the Peabody Institute, 15 Sylvan Street, Danvers on Wed., Oct. 13th from 7pm-8:30pm. We'll talk about how fate intervenes in life, finding your meaning, and the power of spirituality. Don't worry - we'll share some good laughs - as always! Please come and bring a friend! RSVPs appreciated to donnadavislmhc@verizon.net.

Got Faith? See What Fate Has in Store for You!

Ever play solitaire? Lately, I've developed this silly habit of playing it on my computer as my way to try to test fate. I always play the first game I'm dealt, likening it to the fact that in life, we don't always have a choice -- we have to try to tackle whatever comes our way. I try my hardest to win the first game, but it isn't always so easy. Sometimes fate has other plans. If I lose, I select "Deal Again" and keep clicking on "Deal Again" until I see a mix of cards that I think will give me a better chance of winning, trying to play a part in my fate with knowledge that I've gained from past attempts.

In the game of life, sometimes we are at the helm of our destiny and other times we feel lost over so many situations that we can't control. This is where fate lends a hand. The universe may have other plans for us. We may not like them and we may make a lot of fuss, but most times, in the end, we grow and learn, and find ourselves on a better path. We just have to have faith to see it through.

Others have shared stories about a break-up that ultimately was the best thing for them or a job loss that led them to a new opportunity. It was far from easy at the time, and they fought hard to change it, but after accepting it slowly, they recognized it may have been for a reason. Similarly, in tough situations, some realize what they have compared to others, and view their lives differently, accepting the flaws in their partner or their own limitations, for example. Ever have someone share their troubles with you and you actually feel better about your own life in return? This is faith reminding you to hold on.

Having faith gets us through the dark times. Accepting our fate can be very liberating and actually create new possibilities for us. This doesn't mean to sit back and give up. Rather, allow the universe to open doors and then take a chance and enter them. Ask for help from a higher power along the way. Sometimes you are in a holding pattern and that is ok. Rest but keep your eyes open for those new pathways. It also may mean to go back to an old pathway with a different attitude. We are never too old to grow and learn.

I love talking about faith, fate, destiny, and hope. It is so fascinating - and we can learn so much. This is why I have developed "Soul-Soothers," ideas to embrace, enlighten, and empower. This Fall, let's consider the lessons of Faith, Hope, and Charity. I hope you and yours will consider joining me for a discussion on "Faith" in Danvers on Wed., Oct. 13th at 7pm; "Hope" in Middleton on Mon., Nov. 15th at 6:30pm, where we will also make a Wish List thanks to Mums Art Studio of Tewksbury; and "Charity" at Cradles to Crayons in Quincy on Sun., Dec. 12th at 10am, where we will create care packages for kids in need. Check out "Upcoming Events" on my website for more details. All of these events are FREE and open to the public.

Hope to see you at one or all of the Soul-Soothers! Take some time out for you - you deserve it! And you never know who you might meet or where fate might lead...!

Inspiration from "Eat Pray Love"

I saw "Eat Pray Love" starring Julia Roberts yesterday. After devouring some pasta of my own and enjoying a glass of "therapist" (or wine) as it is so fondly called in the movie, I thought I'd share some of its more inspirational points.

Think of your life as a quest. Instead of seeing foodshopping and going to the bank as boring errands, imagine who you might meet or what you may learn along the way. People you encounter in your life are there for a reason, helping you to learn and discover your own path and meaning.

When life doesn't go your way and upsetting events happen to you, take some time to reflect. If you keep trying for a certain job and you are not having any luck, perhaps you are meant to be elsewhere. If your partner or friend broke your heart, learn from it, but don't deny yourself new relationships or never trust again because of it. When we are in the middle of problems, they seem so overwhelming. Yet, this, too, shall pass. You don't want to miss opportunities because you can't get out of your own way!

Learn from our Italian friends about the "sweetness of doing nothing" and allow yourself a break. In the movie, I laughed when an Italian explains how Americans are so caught up in our busy schedules that is why we often want to spend our entire weekend in our pajamas starring blankly at the television. That is not living, that is exhaustion. Instead take several moments each day to savor for yourself. Sit, reflect, and smile. Try something new.

Having faith in yourself and a higher power can ease your burdens. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Live in the present instead of the past. Your prayers are probably answered more than you think. We all move so fast that we often fail to notice. If you pray to win the lottery, don't forget to buy a ticket! Sending "love and light" to those we love and those we need to move past, can be extremely liberating and fulfilling.

Finally, take chances. So many of my friends give up on love when it doesn't work out the way they imagined. A broken heart means that you at least tried to make love work. Instead of listing all of the reasons why you shouldn't, follow your heart and try to love again. Try something new. Volunteer your time, putting yourself into new situations, and talk to people you don't know - imagine who you might meet!

Eat, pray, and love! Good advice for all of us!

ICE CREAM!!

It was only a matter of time until another blog loaded with calories. Summer (or really any other season for that matter) would not be complete without wonderful visits to different ice cream parlors. Living in Middleton, I could probably recite most of Richardson's numerous flavors without hesitation. And no matter how many times I visit there and encourage my family to try something new, we always retreat back to our favorites - Purple Cow for my husband, Oreo for my son, and German Chocolate Cake for me.

Of course, when you're in the mood for soft-serve, Dairy Queen gets our attention. Those Blizzards are really something - so many textures and flavors, you have no choice but to feel happy inside. And I hear they are coming out with a new mini-size Blizzard for those of us watching our figures!

Hodgie's in Amesbury and Salisbury is big on quantity. Visit here with friends, encourage them to order the large, then watch their faces - it is like a half-gallon in a cup! Although we can rarely all make it past their kiddie size, I admit I occasionally pretend to forget they are so big and go for the small. It is my way of living on the edge.

A fun day out includes a visit to Kimball Farm in Westford. Here you can play mini-golf, cool down in their water bumper boats, browse their Country Store, and top it all off with their homemade ice cream. Their sundaes are so large that it takes a really confident person to walk away from the counter with one. So, if you're trying to improve your self-esteem, why not give this a go?! I suppose you can add two spoons to at least look like you're planning to share.

During a trip to Florida a few years ago, our hotel had its own "Emack and Bolio's," a popular Boston chain that we rarely visited before. We decided our vacation would not be complete without a visit here every day to try to their various new flavors -usually a different one added each day. Hey - we were on vacation and a family has to have goals! On the day we had to fly home, the three of us sat at their counter, cones in hand and toasted our return one day. So what if it was 8am! This past week, we visited their Charlestown location and were happily transported back to a very happy time in our lives. Their Chocolate Moose is so smooth and thick, it can't be legal!

Two of our favorite ice cream parlors are located in Cambridge - Christina's and Toscanini's. We like visiting them on a Thursday evening after checking out the latest exhibits at the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston for free. Christina's Homemade specializes in exotic spices creating unique flavors like Cinnamon, Mexican Chocolate, and Toasted Marshmallow. Toscanini's has some of the best hot fudge I've ever had - and topped upon Burnt Caramel or Malted Vanilla - one can feel as if everything is right in the world.

So indulge in ice cream and see the world from a different perspective. When an icy treat can build esteem, foster togetherness, and create happiness and harmony, you owe it to yourself to do it for the betterment of mankind - at least once in a while!

A Taste of My Own Medicine

On our recent family trip to Williamsburg, Virginia, it was my soon to be 9 year old son that challenged me to take my own advice.

Our son is adventurous by nature but good old anxiety can often deter him from the more exciting things in life. One way to help him through his anxious feelings is to tell him how some believe you should do one thing that scares you every day. Challenge yourself and soon you'll find that you'll have more courage than expected, making those anxiety-producing events less of a nuisance.

You can imagine my surprise when the tables were turned. As we walked around Water Country USA, our eyes were drawn to the extremely tall tower you must climb to board their "Aquazoid" raft ride, most of which is in complete darkness. I had no interest in this ride - both for the height of the tower and the unknown that awaited me in those dark tunnels. As I encouraged my husband and son to have fun and I'd meet them later (they must sell margaritas here somewhere I thought), my son paused and looked up at me. "But what about doing that one thing that scares you everyday, Mom?"

A million excuses popped into my head. Mom might get sick, Mom might fall off, Mom won't fit, Mom needs to go check her voicemail. Where is that margarita when you need it? Yet those eyes kept starring at me, longing for the response he wanted to hear.

As I climbed the several-story high tower, my knuckles were sore from holding on so tightly. I couldn't believe people actually do this for fun. I tried my best not to look down. As we boarded our raft, my son smiled at me, reminding me that all will be ok. "You can do this, Mom," he encouraged.

Numerous screams and several laughs later, we were at the bottom of the Aquazoid. We did it! We actually did it and survived. I got a taste of my own medicine and, in turn, my son's renewed confidence in himself from encouraging me to face my fear was worth more than you can imagine. I actually enjoyed it so much that we went on it again. Who knew facing your fears could be this much fun?! Having someone believe in you and seeing you through really helps. You never know what you're capable of accomplishing until you try.