Are You Having Fun Yet? A "Yummers" Adventure

We're all so busy. Running here, running there. Sometimes the passing weeks feel like one big errand. Time to get some fun into your life & remember why we're here. Trust me - it's not for food shopping, paying bills, & transporting kids.

Last weekend, I allowed myself to be spoiled. My family & I went on an adventure to find the best chocolate on the North Shore. No errands, just a cocoa quest with a $5 limit at each location. We started at adorable & delicious Pride's Crossing Confections in Beverly (we highly recommend the turtles & salted dark chocolate caramels) then drove to luscious Turtle Alley in Gloucester. Their motto was especially appealing..."Life is short. Sin a little." And sin we did. We started with the King (appropriate for our quest, we thought) - a peanut butter cup filled with bacon, smoked salt, & chopped peanuts. Wow! And even though it wasn't chocolate, we had to try the fleur de sel ancho chile caramel (gooey caramel with a little spice & heat at the end). So good we had to go overbudget here & buy several more to bring home. What are you waiting for? Grab your coat & go!

Next we decided to walk off some of the calories & explore Bear Skin Neck in Rockport. We were excited to find banana Turkish Taffy at the Country Store. Remember these? You slam the taffy on the counter (with the wrapper on!) & it breaks into smaller pieces. What a great way to relieve stress & connect with the child in you! I knew I was on this quest for a reason.

After the candy, we needed some real food, of course. That's when Top Dog caught our eye. My husband had the Shaggy Dog (a hot dog with BBQ & coleslaw), my son the Golden Retriever (one topped with mac & cheese!), and I had the Bad Dog (one with bacon, cheese, & grilled onions). I really liked being "bad." Delish & definitely worth a road trip!

After more shop perusing, Tuck's Candies was next with us sampling their light & airy Swiss chocolates. Mmmmm! Then on the way home, we made one last stop at Nichols Candies in Gloucester, with their chocolate covered honeycomb chips & Needhams being just what we needed to help us tackle the challenges of the week ahead. The Needhams are thin caramel discs topped with chocolate & jimmies. Yummers!

Just like the great kids' book with the same name, our day was truly Yummers! My son thought I lost my mind suggesting this unique crusade, but he loved it. My husband is used to my crazy ideas & helped come up with the stops. Isn't it time for your own Yummers adventure? Just a small bite of a few chocolates at each location - it 's fun to share & compare. I don't think we truly discovered one favorite - we might just have to go again to be sure, adding in some new locations along the way! Or maybe we'll try ice cream next. So much to choose from & so little time. Now these are errands I can get used to! Enjoy!

The People We Meet

Recently, my son asked if I thought everything happened for a reason. Soda spilling, staining my shirt, and the printer running out of ink - not so much. But people meeting and interacting with each other - yes, I think we're on to something.

People come into our lives for a reason. And each of us has a purpose. A neat example of this can be found in the movie, "Lady in the Water" by M. Night Shyamalan. OK - so he's had a bad rap lately for making some less than memorable films - and some may think this one is not his best. However, it really touches on people coming together and serving a purpose. People who otherwise really have no reason to come together. Shyamalan used to tell this story to his kids at bedtime. It involves several people who live in the same apartment complex. Although the concept is a bit out there - it can really help those of us wrestling with less than perfect colleagues, relatives or aquaintances in our lives. Sometimes there is really more than meets the eye or what can be immediately felt or described.

Maybe your grouchy and gym-fascinated boss might be the "guardian". Or the child who never does her homework and only seems to dream about fairies and butterflies could be the "healer." And your crossword puzzle-obsessed, critical mother could be the "interpreter". The point is maybe we need to try harder to see past the traits we find offending or off-putting in order to see the bigger picture or purpose.

Thank goodness for those who aren't afraid to tackle danger (even if we consider their decisions sometimes rash) - else what would happen when there was a fire or crime? We'd have no books and movies if it weren't for those with incredible imaginations (who probably take hours just to pick out their clothes each morning!). And where would we be without our friends who naturally seem to "get" us and all of our own crazy hang-ups - those we hand-select to be part of our family.

So the next time people are driving you crazy and you can't seem to find a balance, you might check out "Lady in the Water" and daydream for a bit. People do come together for a greater good, even in simple everyday circumstances. It may not always be noticed - but it happens. Here's to paying attention to the little good deeds in our day that matter and have the ability to change the world...one person at a time.

Let the Adventures Begin!

Tired of being stuck inside all winter? Spring is finally here! Time to get outdoors, stretch, and begin exploring. So much to do and so little time! I recall reading an entry in one of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books about a teenage boy who made a Life's To Do list. He wanted to ride a camel, visit a rainforest, climb a mountain, learn to ski, visit many different countries, learn new languages, and so much more. And can you believe he actually accomplished most of them? His list had over 200 tasks, most of which would seem crazy to many of us. But he did them - and so can you.

Start today and make a list of just three places you'd like to visit or goals to set for yourself. Suggest one very reasonable, one in the middle, and one a bit far-fetched. Keep it on a post-it note in your planner or next to your bed. And try to make at least one happen by the end of the summer. Why not set-up a picnic in your living room this weekend and list places to visit with your partner or family and friends this summer? Spread a blanket, maybe buy a bucket of KFC or other fun picnic fare, & have popsicles for dessert!

To help you, I'm very excited to include the link to my most extensive Fun Local Adventures ideas yet! From walking in a forest with deer, to golfing in the dark, to adorable country stores, to an enormous trampoline, to drinking beer from a glass a yard long, there is something in here for everyone. It also includes ideas on how to connect with your teens or re-connect with your partner in addition to numerous kids' activities, too. Use it as a starting point to plan some fun days out. When kids get involved in the planning, it really helps them enjoy it more, too. Couples benefit in numerous ways when planning together - get ready for some romance as you dream about an exotic trip to the South Pacific and other destinations!

The list I've mentioned includes all of the links to the places listed, which saves you time. Click on the link and see if it is for you. I've tried to suggest less popular places and combined several sites in the same area, giving you ideas for Sunday drives, time out with those independent toddlers or teens, or a romantic evening at home. Please share the list with your friends! I will continue to update it and add some farther away destinations such as Niagara Falls and Baltimore, MD in May. So check back! We've been fortunate to visit all of the places on the list. I welcome your feedback, questions, and ideas.

The world is your oyster, my friends. Crack it open, grab the pearl, and never let go! Your future is full of possibilities. Open your mind, dive in, and give them a try!

Making It Count!

During the presentation on laughter at the Reading Library, I ended by reciting from "Paradox of our Times," attributed to George Carlin but actually written by Dr. Bob Moorehead. One of the lines really resonates: "We've learned how to make a living but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years." What do you think? Do you make a living or a life? Is there truly life in your years or are you just passing time, completing your next task?

Life is stressful and certainly not easy. I'm sure we all would try to really "live" if we only had the time. But with all of today's conveniences, one has to wonder how far we've come from our ancestors. I can't imagine growing up without indoor plumbing or electricity or even a cell phone, for that matter. How about going for groceries by horse and buggy? While life is still far from perfect in 2011, we certainly have it better than our ancestors did.

But how far have you really come? We may only get one chance on this earth - are you "making it count" as Jack Dawson (Leo DiCaprio) toasted in Titanic, the movie? His character had spirit and insight that energized you, and many of us immediately fell in love with him or rather what he represented - love of life.

You find your center once you understand what is truly important in life. You learn to let go more easily and give more deeply. You don't need long-term therapy or medicine to make this happen. This is why I created Ever After. Although people visit with me to examine a particular concern, we also focus on discovering who they are - on making it count and making a life. Take some time to examine what is important to you, your family or friends. You may be surprised at the outcome. When you remember you only go around once, your priorities change.

I am especially excited about adding several "Themed Visits" to Ever After's repertoire, including Fairy Godmother (for parents wanting to consult about their kids); Sleeping Beauty (for the shy or reserved hoping to awaken their passion & path); Put Me in, Coach! (for those feeling pressured to always score in life, wanting to learn skills to ease fear, doubt, or anxiety); and Little Red in the Hood (for the rebels hoping to reconnect with parents or even themselves). These sessions focus on a particular concern with personalized suggestions on how to improve it as well as help you discover your center and purpose. No meds, no diagnosis, no long-term therapy, no stigma attached for asking for help - just empowerment, compassion, sanctuary, and inspiration. Very unconventional in 2011! Now that is living!

Laugh for Health's Sake!

Laughter truly is life's best medicine. From releasing endorphins (natural painkillers) to improving blood flow to relaxing muscles and even easing anxiety and fear, there is nothing like a good laugh to make you feel better. Kids somehow already know this and master laughter pretty well. They laugh at things most adults roll their eyes at or try to stifle so they can remain an "adult". But I've got to ask - is that really working for us wiser and older individuals?

There is something to be said about finding the humor in bad situations. It doesn't take away the pain of the event but it certainly helps us cope and face the days ahead. When facing a tough week, consider flipping in a mindless, silly movie into your DVD player before you go to bed. Something with Mel Brooks, Monty Python, Eddie Murphy, or Will Ferrell - you get the picture. And allow yourself to actually laugh out loud, not just on the inside. Then see how you feel in the morning.

That's the thing - when we write LOL or LMAO after our Facebook posts or texts, how many of us are really laughing aloud? You're probably like me in that we smile then go on to the next structured part of our day. Now, I'm not saying to act like a lunatic at work laughing hysterically in your cubicle so everyone in the office will be thinking you need medical attention. But I am asking to truly consider laughing aloud several times within your day because it is truly GOOD for you!

We're going to have some fun on this Tuesday night at the Reading Public Library with my talk all about laughter, including funny video clips. I truly hope you'll join us. There is nothing like a laugh from down deep inside to lighten life's load. Here's a sample of something totally ridiculous to get you on the track to feeling better and reducing the stress we all feel in life. Hope you can take just under 2 minutes out of your day and hopefully laugh aloud with this PG-13 clip!

Living Happily Ever After

When interning at Hospice over 10 years ago, I thought Ever After would be a great name for my practice one day. I love the way fairy tales end - "and they lived happily ever after". It's just that we can't live "happily" all the time. If we didn't know sadness, we wouldn't understand happiness, right? So Ever After - sometimes happy, sometimes not so much - made sense.

I'm often asked how to help others feel better about unfortunate situations. Gratitude truly helps fill the soul. Feeling thankful for great people in our lives, for those who make us laugh and smile. Feeling fortunate about the positives in your life - what you're good at, what works, what has gone well. Being thankful for having had the chance to know and love people in our lives who have passed on - they have become part of us and helped shape us into who we are.

Too often we don't embrace our strengths enough. We put ourselves down and allow others to make us feel bad about our differences. Or we live for others, putting ourselves last and caring for their needs before any of our own. We fall into these roles, like old slippers - they feel comfortable, so we let them be.

As spring and a time of renewal enters your life, think about your positive attributes and what you are thankful for in your life. Then ask yourself what else might make you happy, what might fill your soul and put a spring in your step. Helping others always feels good. Yet, helping ourselves is equally important. Find that wish list and make a plan, even just one. As we mentioned last March, think about your life as a chapter book. Isn't it time to live happily ever after in this particular chapter?

Laughter is equally as important as gratitude to keep you smiling. On Tuesday, March 22nd at 7pm, join me at the Reading Public Library as I complete the Winter Wellness Series, "Live, Love, Laugh" with a FREE program dedicated to laughter, truly life's best medicine. Laugh with us as I share stories and video clips that reduce stress, tickle our funny bone, and touch the heart. Living happily ever after is in your future - embrace it, believe, and make it happen!

Love Where You Least Expect It!

Love is when your pet snuggles up against you on a cold winter's night. Love is baking cookies inside while your mate shovels outside. Love is when your teenager laughs aloud with you instead of pretending that you don't exist. Love is talking to your mother and her actually agreeing with you instead of her telling you the way she would have done it. Love is picking up where you left off with a good friend even though you haven't seen each other in months. Love is buying loads of snacks and dropping them off at a homeless shelter on Superbowl Sunday in memory of your Dad, who was an avid football fan. Love is feeling good about you, having hopes for your future, and letting go of dark shadows from your past.

Seeing love in so many forms makes Valentine's Day less threatening for some. Anyone can be our Valentine, not just a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. February is cold in New England. Why not share the warmth with someone? Heck, we even leave our mailman a Valentine!

Still not in the mood yet? There are a few tickets left for our humorous talk on "Love" combined with a wine-tasting at Alfalfa Farm in Topsfield on Friday, February 18th. My husband, Larry, and I will share some situations couples can relate with all too well! Living together, in-laws, kids, holidays, sex - come laugh with us and warm up with a nice Pinot Grigio! When all else fails, there's nothing like a nice glass of wine and good company to set the world right again.

Wishing you a February full of love, warmth, and laughter - or at the very least, a great glass of vino!