Making It Count!

During the presentation on laughter at the Reading Library, I ended by reciting from "Paradox of our Times," attributed to George Carlin but actually written by Dr. Bob Moorehead. One of the lines really resonates: "We've learned how to make a living but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years." What do you think? Do you make a living or a life? Is there truly life in your years or are you just passing time, completing your next task?

Life is stressful and certainly not easy. I'm sure we all would try to really "live" if we only had the time. But with all of today's conveniences, one has to wonder how far we've come from our ancestors. I can't imagine growing up without indoor plumbing or electricity or even a cell phone, for that matter. How about going for groceries by horse and buggy? While life is still far from perfect in 2011, we certainly have it better than our ancestors did.

But how far have you really come? We may only get one chance on this earth - are you "making it count" as Jack Dawson (Leo DiCaprio) toasted in Titanic, the movie? His character had spirit and insight that energized you, and many of us immediately fell in love with him or rather what he represented - love of life.

You find your center once you understand what is truly important in life. You learn to let go more easily and give more deeply. You don't need long-term therapy or medicine to make this happen. This is why I created Ever After. Although people visit with me to examine a particular concern, we also focus on discovering who they are - on making it count and making a life. Take some time to examine what is important to you, your family or friends. You may be surprised at the outcome. When you remember you only go around once, your priorities change.

I am especially excited about adding several "Themed Visits" to Ever After's repertoire, including Fairy Godmother (for parents wanting to consult about their kids); Sleeping Beauty (for the shy or reserved hoping to awaken their passion & path); Put Me in, Coach! (for those feeling pressured to always score in life, wanting to learn skills to ease fear, doubt, or anxiety); and Little Red in the Hood (for the rebels hoping to reconnect with parents or even themselves). These sessions focus on a particular concern with personalized suggestions on how to improve it as well as help you discover your center and purpose. No meds, no diagnosis, no long-term therapy, no stigma attached for asking for help - just empowerment, compassion, sanctuary, and inspiration. Very unconventional in 2011! Now that is living!

Laugh for Health's Sake!

Laughter truly is life's best medicine. From releasing endorphins (natural painkillers) to improving blood flow to relaxing muscles and even easing anxiety and fear, there is nothing like a good laugh to make you feel better. Kids somehow already know this and master laughter pretty well. They laugh at things most adults roll their eyes at or try to stifle so they can remain an "adult". But I've got to ask - is that really working for us wiser and older individuals?

There is something to be said about finding the humor in bad situations. It doesn't take away the pain of the event but it certainly helps us cope and face the days ahead. When facing a tough week, consider flipping in a mindless, silly movie into your DVD player before you go to bed. Something with Mel Brooks, Monty Python, Eddie Murphy, or Will Ferrell - you get the picture. And allow yourself to actually laugh out loud, not just on the inside. Then see how you feel in the morning.

That's the thing - when we write LOL or LMAO after our Facebook posts or texts, how many of us are really laughing aloud? You're probably like me in that we smile then go on to the next structured part of our day. Now, I'm not saying to act like a lunatic at work laughing hysterically in your cubicle so everyone in the office will be thinking you need medical attention. But I am asking to truly consider laughing aloud several times within your day because it is truly GOOD for you!

We're going to have some fun on this Tuesday night at the Reading Public Library with my talk all about laughter, including funny video clips. I truly hope you'll join us. There is nothing like a laugh from down deep inside to lighten life's load. Here's a sample of something totally ridiculous to get you on the track to feeling better and reducing the stress we all feel in life. Hope you can take just under 2 minutes out of your day and hopefully laugh aloud with this PG-13 clip!

Living Happily Ever After

When interning at Hospice over 10 years ago, I thought Ever After would be a great name for my practice one day. I love the way fairy tales end - "and they lived happily ever after". It's just that we can't live "happily" all the time. If we didn't know sadness, we wouldn't understand happiness, right? So Ever After - sometimes happy, sometimes not so much - made sense.

I'm often asked how to help others feel better about unfortunate situations. Gratitude truly helps fill the soul. Feeling thankful for great people in our lives, for those who make us laugh and smile. Feeling fortunate about the positives in your life - what you're good at, what works, what has gone well. Being thankful for having had the chance to know and love people in our lives who have passed on - they have become part of us and helped shape us into who we are.

Too often we don't embrace our strengths enough. We put ourselves down and allow others to make us feel bad about our differences. Or we live for others, putting ourselves last and caring for their needs before any of our own. We fall into these roles, like old slippers - they feel comfortable, so we let them be.

As spring and a time of renewal enters your life, think about your positive attributes and what you are thankful for in your life. Then ask yourself what else might make you happy, what might fill your soul and put a spring in your step. Helping others always feels good. Yet, helping ourselves is equally important. Find that wish list and make a plan, even just one. As we mentioned last March, think about your life as a chapter book. Isn't it time to live happily ever after in this particular chapter?

Laughter is equally as important as gratitude to keep you smiling. On Tuesday, March 22nd at 7pm, join me at the Reading Public Library as I complete the Winter Wellness Series, "Live, Love, Laugh" with a FREE program dedicated to laughter, truly life's best medicine. Laugh with us as I share stories and video clips that reduce stress, tickle our funny bone, and touch the heart. Living happily ever after is in your future - embrace it, believe, and make it happen!

Love Where You Least Expect It!

Love is when your pet snuggles up against you on a cold winter's night. Love is baking cookies inside while your mate shovels outside. Love is when your teenager laughs aloud with you instead of pretending that you don't exist. Love is talking to your mother and her actually agreeing with you instead of her telling you the way she would have done it. Love is picking up where you left off with a good friend even though you haven't seen each other in months. Love is buying loads of snacks and dropping them off at a homeless shelter on Superbowl Sunday in memory of your Dad, who was an avid football fan. Love is feeling good about you, having hopes for your future, and letting go of dark shadows from your past.

Seeing love in so many forms makes Valentine's Day less threatening for some. Anyone can be our Valentine, not just a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. February is cold in New England. Why not share the warmth with someone? Heck, we even leave our mailman a Valentine!

Still not in the mood yet? There are a few tickets left for our humorous talk on "Love" combined with a wine-tasting at Alfalfa Farm in Topsfield on Friday, February 18th. My husband, Larry, and I will share some situations couples can relate with all too well! Living together, in-laws, kids, holidays, sex - come laugh with us and warm up with a nice Pinot Grigio! When all else fails, there's nothing like a nice glass of wine and good company to set the world right again.

Wishing you a February full of love, warmth, and laughter - or at the very least, a great glass of vino!

Ode to January and Mother Nature

January. Not everyone's favorite month. It begins after the holidays when everyone has to clean up and find room to store the presents received (including enough toys to open our own store). Then there are those new year's resolutions which always include losing weight and doing more exercise. Shoveling must count, right? Oh yes, the lovely weather in January has our attention, too. Tons of white snow against the dark sky that comes all too early in the afternoon. And we wonder why we feel out of sorts this time of year?

I could say we should all let our hair down and take up a winter sport like skiing or snowboarding. But my lack of heeding past new year's resolutions having to do with losing weight and moving more caution me that my body probably won't be able to handle this new hobby too easily. Never mind my back or knees.

All right, then how about a less physical new hobby? How about hooking Netflix up to my tv so I don't have to mail them back and wait so long in between movies? Or does shopping for deals at the mall count? The cold and dark just make me want to stay under my covers. Animals hibernate this time of year - shouldn't we take their lead? My body needs rest. Hey, have you seen the snow out there? Travel isn't easy - another reason to stay close to home.

Oh, January. I'm really trying. Forgive me for not sticking to those resolutions - but my mind is numb from the cold. My body is sore from shoveling. And I'm too busy reading directions on those toys from Santa to spark a creative thought. Have patience with me, January. Things will be different next month with Valentine's Day and only 28 days to get through until we feel closer to spring. Who am I kidding? My ode to February will be coming next! Winter in New England. You've got to love it - why else would we put ourselves through it?!

We have seasons for a reason. Listen to Mother Nature and allow yourself time to enjoy the winter slumber. Forgive yourself. You can start fresh at any moment - it doesn't have to be January 1st! Spring is coming. What better time to change than when birds are singing and the sun reappears? Hey - we'll all feel just like freakin' Snow White! Energy is on the horizon so be gentle with you and chill out with people who make you smile. It was why January was invented. Mother Nature constantly reminds us with her fresh white blanket, tucking us in like newborns. And you don't mess with Mother Nature!

The Magic of Chocolate!

Welcome 2011! All that rushing for the holidays - then they're over in a flash! Now it is time to celebrate you! Isn't it time to "live" it up? You do so much for others - how about doing something special for you?

One thing that truly makes me happy (besides my wonderful family and friends, of course!) is chocolate. Milk or dark, with caramel or nuts, hot or in big chunks. Chocolate can change my mood. It allows me to escape, even for just a while, and think of a simpler time when people used to drink it for its magical powers. And with the crazy lives we all lead, what's wrong with a touch of magic in your day?

We recently enjoyed a great trip to Taza Chocolate Factory in Somerville. For just $5, we got to sample all sorts of funky flavors of chocolate (salt and pepper, chili, cinnamon, vanilla bean, and more), tour the place, and learn how they make this great stuff straight from the cocoa bean! They use traditional Mexican stone methods, using all organic ingredients. And it tastes great! Who knew all this could happen in Somerville? I highly recommend this adventure (maybe combined with dinner at Redbones BBQ, like we did!).

If you're willing to splurge, there's still time to join us for a trip to Boston to the "Chocolate Bar" on Saturday, January 15th. The cost is $65 per person for all-you-can-eat incredible desserts, tea or coffee, tax and tips, and roundtrip bus from Middleton or Saugus. Once you do this, you will not be the same! It will make 2011 seem a whole lot brighter already! Hope to hear from you before January 7th!

I know the new year is when you're supposed to be dieting and eating better. And you still can take care of you! But there's nothing wrong with living it up with a new experience and splurging every now and then! Besides, you gotta love those antioxidants in chocolate!

Whether it is at Taza, the Chocolate Bar, or just with a few Hershey kisses, wishing you the sweetest and most satisfying new year ever!

Taking Care of You in 2011!

It was great to end my Fall Wellness Series ("Faith, Hope, and Charity") at Cradles to Crayons in Quincy this past Sunday. A fabulous group of Ever After volunteers got to match outfits for children, making nearly 60 bags of clothes to be dispersed this week. We had a lot of laughs and left with hearts full of hope for the numerous kids the agency serves. A big thank you if you volunteered with us and/or donated items that we delivered that day. We hope to volunteer again next year and hope you might join us next time.

After the hectic holiday season passes, remember to take time for you and attend my Winter Wellness Series, "Live, Love, Laugh". It kicks off on Saturday, January 15th with a trip to the yumilicious Chocolate Bar in Boston. Cost is $65 per person for all-you-can-eat desserts, coffee or tea, tax, tip, and round-trip bus transportation from Middleton or Saugus. It is time to "Live" it up and enjoy yourself after taking care of so many others in your life! Please let me know soon if you would like to attend.

My husband, Larry, and I will host a talk on "Love" in February - more details to follow soon! Great for couples, too!

Then in March, we'll "Laugh" together at a presentation at the Reading Public Library on Tues., March 22nd from 7pm-8:30pm. Complete with comical video clips, this is something you won't want to miss!

Hope this holiday season brings dreams that come true and hopes fulfilled. May 2011 be the best year yet for you and yours!