Advice from Romantic Movies and Fortune Cookies

I'm a sap for a good romantic movie. Maybe that's why I enjoyed "Letters to Juliet" recently. Women who had their hearts broken are encouraged to visit the courtyard of Juliet's house (yes "the" Juliet of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet") in Verona, Italy and leave a letter, asking for her advice on what to do. Every day Juliet's secretaries (lovely ladies from various backgrounds and all different relationships) write back to the heartbroken with words of encouragement.

Don't you wish you had secretaries just dedicated to you - people you could ask for advice from and they'd know exactly what to do? Of course, we are fortunate to have wonderful friends. But there is something spiritual and fascinating about leaving a note in a courtyard and receiving a response from an experienced wise soul who doesn't know you. It makes the reply all the more mystical and powerful.

It is almost like cracking open a fortune cookie after a delicious Chinese meal and getting a terrific fortune. We believe these just HAVE to come true. I carry good fortunes in my purse, post them in my cubicle, etc.! And I know many of you have done that, too!

If you'd like to receive an encouraging message for the days ahead, please consider joining me for a discussion on "Faith" at the Peabody Institute, 15 Sylvan Street, Danvers on Wed., Oct. 13th from 7pm-8:30pm. We'll talk about how fate intervenes in life, finding your meaning, and the power of spirituality. Don't worry - we'll share some good laughs - as always! Please come and bring a friend! RSVPs appreciated to donnadavislmhc@verizon.net.

Got Faith? See What Fate Has in Store for You!

Ever play solitaire? Lately, I've developed this silly habit of playing it on my computer as my way to try to test fate. I always play the first game I'm dealt, likening it to the fact that in life, we don't always have a choice -- we have to try to tackle whatever comes our way. I try my hardest to win the first game, but it isn't always so easy. Sometimes fate has other plans. If I lose, I select "Deal Again" and keep clicking on "Deal Again" until I see a mix of cards that I think will give me a better chance of winning, trying to play a part in my fate with knowledge that I've gained from past attempts.

In the game of life, sometimes we are at the helm of our destiny and other times we feel lost over so many situations that we can't control. This is where fate lends a hand. The universe may have other plans for us. We may not like them and we may make a lot of fuss, but most times, in the end, we grow and learn, and find ourselves on a better path. We just have to have faith to see it through.

Others have shared stories about a break-up that ultimately was the best thing for them or a job loss that led them to a new opportunity. It was far from easy at the time, and they fought hard to change it, but after accepting it slowly, they recognized it may have been for a reason. Similarly, in tough situations, some realize what they have compared to others, and view their lives differently, accepting the flaws in their partner or their own limitations, for example. Ever have someone share their troubles with you and you actually feel better about your own life in return? This is faith reminding you to hold on.

Having faith gets us through the dark times. Accepting our fate can be very liberating and actually create new possibilities for us. This doesn't mean to sit back and give up. Rather, allow the universe to open doors and then take a chance and enter them. Ask for help from a higher power along the way. Sometimes you are in a holding pattern and that is ok. Rest but keep your eyes open for those new pathways. It also may mean to go back to an old pathway with a different attitude. We are never too old to grow and learn.

I love talking about faith, fate, destiny, and hope. It is so fascinating - and we can learn so much. This is why I have developed "Soul-Soothers," ideas to embrace, enlighten, and empower. This Fall, let's consider the lessons of Faith, Hope, and Charity. I hope you and yours will consider joining me for a discussion on "Faith" in Danvers on Wed., Oct. 13th at 7pm; "Hope" in Middleton on Mon., Nov. 15th at 6:30pm, where we will also make a Wish List thanks to Mums Art Studio of Tewksbury; and "Charity" at Cradles to Crayons in Quincy on Sun., Dec. 12th at 10am, where we will create care packages for kids in need. Check out "Upcoming Events" on my website for more details. All of these events are FREE and open to the public.

Hope to see you at one or all of the Soul-Soothers! Take some time out for you - you deserve it! And you never know who you might meet or where fate might lead...!

Inspiration from "Eat Pray Love"

I saw "Eat Pray Love" starring Julia Roberts yesterday. After devouring some pasta of my own and enjoying a glass of "therapist" (or wine) as it is so fondly called in the movie, I thought I'd share some of its more inspirational points.

Think of your life as a quest. Instead of seeing foodshopping and going to the bank as boring errands, imagine who you might meet or what you may learn along the way. People you encounter in your life are there for a reason, helping you to learn and discover your own path and meaning.

When life doesn't go your way and upsetting events happen to you, take some time to reflect. If you keep trying for a certain job and you are not having any luck, perhaps you are meant to be elsewhere. If your partner or friend broke your heart, learn from it, but don't deny yourself new relationships or never trust again because of it. When we are in the middle of problems, they seem so overwhelming. Yet, this, too, shall pass. You don't want to miss opportunities because you can't get out of your own way!

Learn from our Italian friends about the "sweetness of doing nothing" and allow yourself a break. In the movie, I laughed when an Italian explains how Americans are so caught up in our busy schedules that is why we often want to spend our entire weekend in our pajamas starring blankly at the television. That is not living, that is exhaustion. Instead take several moments each day to savor for yourself. Sit, reflect, and smile. Try something new.

Having faith in yourself and a higher power can ease your burdens. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Live in the present instead of the past. Your prayers are probably answered more than you think. We all move so fast that we often fail to notice. If you pray to win the lottery, don't forget to buy a ticket! Sending "love and light" to those we love and those we need to move past, can be extremely liberating and fulfilling.

Finally, take chances. So many of my friends give up on love when it doesn't work out the way they imagined. A broken heart means that you at least tried to make love work. Instead of listing all of the reasons why you shouldn't, follow your heart and try to love again. Try something new. Volunteer your time, putting yourself into new situations, and talk to people you don't know - imagine who you might meet!

Eat, pray, and love! Good advice for all of us!

ICE CREAM!!

It was only a matter of time until another blog loaded with calories. Summer (or really any other season for that matter) would not be complete without wonderful visits to different ice cream parlors. Living in Middleton, I could probably recite most of Richardson's numerous flavors without hesitation. And no matter how many times I visit there and encourage my family to try something new, we always retreat back to our favorites - Purple Cow for my husband, Oreo for my son, and German Chocolate Cake for me.

Of course, when you're in the mood for soft-serve, Dairy Queen gets our attention. Those Blizzards are really something - so many textures and flavors, you have no choice but to feel happy inside. And I hear they are coming out with a new mini-size Blizzard for those of us watching our figures!

Hodgie's in Amesbury and Salisbury is big on quantity. Visit here with friends, encourage them to order the large, then watch their faces - it is like a half-gallon in a cup! Although we can rarely all make it past their kiddie size, I admit I occasionally pretend to forget they are so big and go for the small. It is my way of living on the edge.

A fun day out includes a visit to Kimball Farm in Westford. Here you can play mini-golf, cool down in their water bumper boats, browse their Country Store, and top it all off with their homemade ice cream. Their sundaes are so large that it takes a really confident person to walk away from the counter with one. So, if you're trying to improve your self-esteem, why not give this a go?! I suppose you can add two spoons to at least look like you're planning to share.

During a trip to Florida a few years ago, our hotel had its own "Emack and Bolio's," a popular Boston chain that we rarely visited before. We decided our vacation would not be complete without a visit here every day to try to their various new flavors -usually a different one added each day. Hey - we were on vacation and a family has to have goals! On the day we had to fly home, the three of us sat at their counter, cones in hand and toasted our return one day. So what if it was 8am! This past week, we visited their Charlestown location and were happily transported back to a very happy time in our lives. Their Chocolate Moose is so smooth and thick, it can't be legal!

Two of our favorite ice cream parlors are located in Cambridge - Christina's and Toscanini's. We like visiting them on a Thursday evening after checking out the latest exhibits at the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston for free. Christina's Homemade specializes in exotic spices creating unique flavors like Cinnamon, Mexican Chocolate, and Toasted Marshmallow. Toscanini's has some of the best hot fudge I've ever had - and topped upon Burnt Caramel or Malted Vanilla - one can feel as if everything is right in the world.

So indulge in ice cream and see the world from a different perspective. When an icy treat can build esteem, foster togetherness, and create happiness and harmony, you owe it to yourself to do it for the betterment of mankind - at least once in a while!

A Taste of My Own Medicine

On our recent family trip to Williamsburg, Virginia, it was my soon to be 9 year old son that challenged me to take my own advice.

Our son is adventurous by nature but good old anxiety can often deter him from the more exciting things in life. One way to help him through his anxious feelings is to tell him how some believe you should do one thing that scares you every day. Challenge yourself and soon you'll find that you'll have more courage than expected, making those anxiety-producing events less of a nuisance.

You can imagine my surprise when the tables were turned. As we walked around Water Country USA, our eyes were drawn to the extremely tall tower you must climb to board their "Aquazoid" raft ride, most of which is in complete darkness. I had no interest in this ride - both for the height of the tower and the unknown that awaited me in those dark tunnels. As I encouraged my husband and son to have fun and I'd meet them later (they must sell margaritas here somewhere I thought), my son paused and looked up at me. "But what about doing that one thing that scares you everyday, Mom?"

A million excuses popped into my head. Mom might get sick, Mom might fall off, Mom won't fit, Mom needs to go check her voicemail. Where is that margarita when you need it? Yet those eyes kept starring at me, longing for the response he wanted to hear.

As I climbed the several-story high tower, my knuckles were sore from holding on so tightly. I couldn't believe people actually do this for fun. I tried my best not to look down. As we boarded our raft, my son smiled at me, reminding me that all will be ok. "You can do this, Mom," he encouraged.

Numerous screams and several laughs later, we were at the bottom of the Aquazoid. We did it! We actually did it and survived. I got a taste of my own medicine and, in turn, my son's renewed confidence in himself from encouraging me to face my fear was worth more than you can imagine. I actually enjoyed it so much that we went on it again. Who knew facing your fears could be this much fun?! Having someone believe in you and seeing you through really helps. You never know what you're capable of accomplishing until you try.

Summertime Fun!

Welcome summer! Now is the time to expand your horizons and go on some wonderful adventures.

Nothing is better to renew the spark in your relationship than a full day out away from home. Not only do new places open your mind, the ride there often helps work out any kinks (since you should be talking with each other on the way!). Put down those cell phones. Instead, chat with your mate. How about making a list of all the things you'd love to do in life (like find a sand dollar on a beach or stand outside a stage door and meet a star)? Or the places you would love to visit together (Europe, all 50 states, or a remote island in the South Pacific)? Remember why you fell in love in the first place and share some fun stories about your collective past. It might just help you gain the future of your dreams!

Exploring is great for families, too. When our son was little and in a "funk" (nice word for taking too many tantrums!), our pediatrician always recommended taking him somewhere different. Changing the backdrop really helps - no matter what the age. New places get kids thinking, stimulate their senses, and most importantly, help them connect with you. Just think - you've got each other all to yourselves - away from home with little interruptions! No computer, tv, video games, work, chores, etc. to compete with - just each other. I know it sounds a bit scary - but really, time spent with kids is what they remember the most - not all the nice trinkets we buy them. Doesn't have to be anywhere fancy - just time well spent.

Summer is also a great time to reconnect with your friends. Grab a pal or two and enjoy some laughs together at someplace new. Maybe a new restaurant or an afternoon exploring Newburyport shops or even Martha's Vineyard? Friends sooth the soul and remind us who we are - not that person we often try to pretend to be. Let your hair down and escape! You deserve it!

Don't forget to check out my website for a list of lots of things to do in New England and New York. Also check out this link for a calendar of FREE ADMISSION to popular Massachusetts tourist spots on various Fridays this summer. Thanks, Alison B., for sharing this!

Got any other ideas to share about great summer fun? Please do! We'd all love to hear them!

Saints be Praised!

If you're like me, you don't look forward to getting your boobs squished in a vice. Ah, the joys of getting older. But I recently discovered a women's health center that I didn't want to leave - really! Saints Women's Center for Health and Wellness in North Andover, MA is a dream come true to women everywhere! (Gentlemen - please don't stop reading - this is important to any of the women in your life, too!)

When I've gone for mammograms in the past, I'm given a worn hospital gown (often two sizes too small) then told to walk down the public hallway to another waiting room. People (including men!) walk by and stare as I sit there feeling like a non-entity, trying to look cool and hide my embarrassment. You can imagine my excitement then, when I received a flyer in the mail about a new medical facility for women that got my attention. Knowing I deserve more, I got the courage to make an appointment a short time later.

My experience began with the comforting smell of baby powder when I first walked into the building. As I entered the second floor, I could tell I was not in Kansas anymore. It was beautiful - something like you'd see in a posh office building in downtown Boston. I was greeted by receptionists and assistants that actually smiled and joked with me. After check-in, I was guided to a spa-like environment behind a single closed door (just like the one Dorothy opened into Munchkinland!). I was given a cushiony terrycloth robe reminiscent of the one Julia Roberts wore when she jumped on the bed in "Pretty Woman" and invited to change in a dressing room with an actual door, not a shabby curtain.

"Please help yourself to the hot/cold beverage bar while you wait," I was told. She must be kidding, I thought, but she most certainly wasn't! Coffee, tea, & more - all for the taking. Amidst the sound of trickling water from the beautiful wall waterfall, it was the first time that I actually wanted to wait in a waiting room. "Please don't call me yet!" I kept thinking. I'm not making any of this up!

My mammogram was over so quickly that I found myself trying to make up an excuse to stay. I really just wanted to hang out there and escape life for a while. When was the last time you felt that way when you went to the doctors?

As I said my goodbyes, I was given a beautiful Saints tote bag filled with pedicure supplies and a pink tissue flower that now rests on my desk to remind me of my experience. My jar dropped and remained that way as I walked in the clouds back to my car. I felt cared for and special. I was a person, not just a number. I was woman, hear me roar!

Ladies, we all deserve this kind of treatment! Check out Saints Women's Center soon!